The Shortest, Bitterest Post Ever

I'm in a funny mood today, funny and honest. While the whole point of the blog is getting things off my chest, it only ever goes so far as to what I'd say to a real person if they gave me the opportunity. Something I'd admit to myself. There's a line where not admitting things becomes "dirty rotten lying hypocrite with no sense of perspective or reality".

Short post. Feel bad saying it, but I'm going to say it while I feel like it who said the truth ever hurt anybody?

I'd be really nice if M. Night would make another great movie. I have no opinion on Lady in the Water - because when you like anyone, your opinion can't be trusted. If I had seen it out of the blue, I might have loved or loathed it. But it didn't knock my socks off in anywhere near the same way Unbreakable did recently - it really shook me up, I called it "best film ever" for a few weeks, and that from the second time I've watched it. He's working on his new film at the moment, and very, very deeply inside I know that it won't be up to his true standard, and I still won't be able to approach it in an unbiased manner, and say nice things to cover up a very deep sense of disappointment.

I'm also pre-preparing my defence of QT's next movie - please let it be good, Dogs good, something I'll really genuinely care about on an emotional level instead of just "like" in a fond, distant way. Man, his dialogue gets old after a while. Seen individually, they're masterpieces, but I've just been overcome with a sense of tedium at the prospect of sitting through the conversations in Death Proof. And there you were thinking I'd defend unconditionally whatever he puts on celluloid. Course not. No artist's that good. I will be defending it, of course. It's between an obsession and a bad habit. I did not think Pulp Fiction was very good, yet I do feel a lot of affection for it. I'm happy to praise it in combat with people who hated it. There's some people who can get away with making the same movie again and again. Perhaps he's one of them? I'll say this much - the suits, the soundtracks, the amorality, the chit chat, the endless referencing, it's always there. Great for people who love that most about his movies. All the exterior trappings present and correct. Where's the heart? And why does he keep forgetting to copy the things about Dogs I really loved - the sympathetic interesing characters, genuinely challenging moral situations, a sense of emotional involvement or depth. Who really cares about any of his characters since?


It's really killing me typing this, I hope you appreciate...


And Mr Gilliam. You made Brazil. You also made Brothers Grimm. I suppose it's not fair to demand genius every time, but with a track record containing so many flops and "almosts", I can't help but worry about your new film...after I've finished worrying about your funding and whether there ever will be a new film. You win back brownie points: your most recent film was a masterpiece. More please, and...


No, I've gone too far and feel far too bad about this post. I had a faint hope that it would make me feel very refreshed, in an introspective, overly-frank, get-it-off-yer-chest Woody Allen sort of way, but actually it just makes me feel like even more of a hypocrite when I next leap to any of their defences. It's so easy to be irritated at directors. After typing that, I had a rational sit back and tried to think of anyone else I should add while I was at it - but producers, actors and musicians just don't fall into the same level of disappointment as directors can.

Perhaps thats why I loved Tideland so much. It was the film I'd been waiting to see for years - the ole "character with a fantasy world" chesnut written as I'd always wanted to watch it. Finding Neverland, Pan's Labyrinth, countless others - I didn't enjoy them, because I wanted them to be something else - else, I know now, means Tideland.

Usually at this point in any bashing post in which I have given an uncompromising, one-sided argument I'd offer some pathetic deference to the opposing view. Today's a strange day. I'm not going to do it. Resisting the urge is hard, but no. Don't get me wrong, I still love 'em. I just want you to know, and to remind myself, of a sense of perspective. Time Bandits was not good, despite having several amazing bits - it didn't hang together as a whole. The Village is redeemed purely by its music. And Emily, you didn't like Pulp Fiction, remember?

I'll be glum for the rest of the evening now. Cost me a lot saying that - that fact alone is pretty sad. I'll leave Gilliam worship intact and skip the bashing, with a strong suggestion of what was about to come.

So, now I've bravely nailed my colours to the mast, does anyone else feel like confessing crushing disappointment in their heroes?