The title is taken from a diabolical careers program they made us watch once...so today, a few directorly things.
First things first, I've filmed my Film Studies coursework. Our practical application had to be either script or storyboard, for a brief sequence in either a horror or rom com. Or, you could be inconvenient, and take advantage of the new rules which allow us to actually film our coursework. Guess which one I chose...
I'd love to show you the finished product, but I'm not sure my buddies are too fond of their acting. We're meant to talk about our influences, we get points for intentionally hommmaging things. But I don't think they want my whole list
The basic premise of the film is this: bones are discovered underneath an isolated girls boarding school, sparking rumours of a ghost. A sort of mass hysteria spreads - they start imagining they see it, getting uncomfortable when alone. It's nevermade clear whether there really is a ghost, but the suggestion is that it's more likely a product of madness caused by the institution rules and enforced closeness with a small group of people (channels 12 Monkeys and Full Metal Jacket). I dunno what happens at the end - I think everything gets well out of hand, and something grotesque and charmless befalls the school.
My mum says it's quite like Carrie (which I haven't seen), but the type of thing I had in mind for the whole film was much more Picnic at Hanging Rock (which I managed ten minutes of. Hey, I was younger then!), or the bit in Master and Commander when they think there's a Jonah on board.
The sequence revolves around a game of hide and seek. Lauren goes hides, and gets stuck in a tiny dark little space; meanwhile, her friend (as yet nameless) takes as aaaagonisingly long time as possible to find her in the big, empty school (while in the corner of her mind, she can't shake her own worries about the ghost)
First and foremost, I drew it from my own fears, of which there are literally hundreds. It's set in my own school, which is built like a warren. The first few weeks there, I kept getting lost. It's styled like a castle, and you can access the third floor and several of the turrets only by staircases marked "out of bounds". I did break the rules once...briefly...and there are even more dark, empty corridors up there. It's certainly the last place you want to get stuck with a (possibly) malevolent ghost, or an overactive imagination. I actually have the ghost appearing in the sequence in flickers, briefly in and out of vision. An attempt to replicate the sense of "What if the ghost is there? Of course it isn't...but what if?", and because what you don't see is scarier than what you do (and hopefully, what you almost saw is scarier than both) This, I admit, I have pinched wholesale, from the first half of Fight Club. TS Eliot says that mediocre poets imitate while great ones steal.
I'm also thinking of citing a bbfc paper on what children find scary - even though I read it after finishing my storyboard (apparently, they're really succeptable to scary atmosphere, like people going off on their own.)
6th Sense is really the only pure horror film I've ever seen (and I intend to keep it that way...), and its influence is very clear. My ghost is clearly from the same universe - though any similarity to the bit where hero-kid gets trapped in the cupboard is entirely unintentional, and only occoured to me just now. Ooops. Also, the idea of putting fear in a neutral location, and during the day (no dark side streets for us!) More than that, though - when I'm big and famous, people will cite M. Night as my stylistic influence. I didn't really notice until I rewatched Unbreakable, but just the way I was using the camera - framing shots neatly, the obsessive attempts to shoot through mirrors, tvs and obstacles, THE SLIGHT SLOW ZOOM. Seriously, I thought this was just me subconsciously trying to annoy my cameraperson (who finds controlled zooms tricky), but it turns out that it's just me having watched Signs once too many. When you watch his films again, you'll know what I mean...and my hypothetical storyboards are crammed with them.
Meanwhile, as nameless-friend searches, I've been channeling Kubrick with some long, quiet, boring shots to emphasise how alone she is in the empty school - placing the camera and telling Friend 2 to just walk across the room. It's gonna be great, just hearing her creak across the floorboards. Though I might add a breathing effect. Cheap horror, I know, but if it works it works. That's the bad thing about actually filming my coursework - with the various storyboards, you can't tell if they're actually scary or not. Whereas mine...and I actively allowed meself to borrow an idea I picked up on in my Alien coursework. When Brett is searching for the ship's cat, there are a whole host of shots from above and behind him - the perspective of someone watching him.
Of course, it's not all pinched. Some of it is merely...inspired. And retrospectively inspired at that. The key to my sequence is half a minute inside the cupboard, when Lauren-character realises she is trapped and struggles to get out. I intend to hold the camera on that for as long as is excruciatingly possible. I'd like to coax sweat and tears out of Friend 1, if she's up to it. And when it becomes unbearable to watch, I'm going to keep the camera there for a few seconds longer. And then, cut away to nameless-friend who is going to take as long as is humanly possible. I said retrospectively - because recently, Friend 3's comment while watching a film whose identity will be very obvious to anyone whose seen it, ensured me my theory would work. Someone is about to set first character alight - and out of the blue, she expressed sympathy not for him, but another character in the room. Yes this other character was badly injured, but also unconscious, not in immediate danger and he hadn't actually said anything for about 20 minutes. But the shadow of worry hadn't gone away, and that's precicely what I intend to do. Albeit on a smaller scale...
See, most rational people aren't afraid of ghosts. But most rational people are afraid of suffocation, and get claustrophobic pretty quick. It all hinges on Friend 1 being totally convincing. I want 110% Mr Orange (though I'd probably settle for about 70%...) and if I get it, it'll absolutely sell the sequence. If not...well, what-ev-ah.
I mentioned the Make a Break ad contest a few weeks back. Well, we came second, and you can see the ads here: http://www.channelonline.tv/makeabreak/2007ads.lpf
Ours is Ian Brown's cycles, though I liked the Total Hug one best. I'm very proud of the judges comments - two of them said ours was good, but disjointed. Exactly what I thought. This sounds smug, but I didn't have the heart to speak up and fight for my ideas earlier. Why the hell is she talking about global warming, and then the joke at the end? Our team "lost", our concept was have it all in the shop, chop the global warming, and have the full jingle (what's in there is only half what we wrote - our jingle is annoying, but catchy, and the strength of the advert). At some point the power base got yanked from under our feet, and we ended up with a completely different ad. It's 20 seconds - agree with me, there are too many ideas going on?
The prize was two mp3 players, which didn't go far between a table of 5...
Anyway...
Meanwhile, me and Friend 1 are working on ideas for a Charlie's-Angels/Fox-Force-Five style cheesy action trailer.
And me and available buddies have settled on our next project. I haven't been talking about it loudly the way I normally do because I don't want the public pressure of actually finishing it. But I'm quietly announcing it here so I can't, y' know, chicken out. All I'm going to tell you is though the script isn't original, the way we're doing it is - and though it focuses around two characters, it has a cast of one.
And because I find myself short of friends when I need them, I'm that one. Possibly also because it requires a talent that, out of my posse, only I have. To put none too finer point on it, I'm very very worried (but not going to panic about it XD). I'd do a lot for my movies, taccy as they are - I'll get wet, cold, injured, I'm happy to put my actors in dangerous or unsanitary conditions, infringe international copyright laws, tresspass on private property. I feel I'd be able to die for some of them. But acting is a different barrel altogether...This will also explain why I've spent the time I put aside for a rehersal blogging instead of rehersing. My plan is to spend ten minutes in front of a mirror and do some character immersion stuff.
I voluenteered because there wasn't anybody else, and I've got approximately two weeks to pull myself together. Luckily, I already know the script pretty well - I've just got to deal with my innate dislike of the acting profession. It's not totally nerves. I'm ok with making an idiot of myself in public. It's more of a private thing - a fiction issue. I'm not the world's best person at separating actors from their characters. Several actors I just won't watch in more than one thing, several more make me feel distinctly nervous when I see them in other films. I take the whole acting thing way to seriously. I had a serious acting breakdown two years ago (not explaining why, as it's childish, silly and still painful) and haven't done it since. Here's my last acting rant.
It's not helping that I esteem the original actors pretty highly...in fact, the very idea makes me feel very ill indead. But it comes down to either I act and we make the film, or we don't. Which one's more important? The film. The film the film the film, I keep reminding myself. Hey, publishing your private feelings for the world to pick at is what blogging is all about, eh?
Seriously though, I don't want to moan to my co-maker, because I don't want her to worry. All will be well. I know I can force myself through this, and if not, you poor guys will be forced to suffer through my endless lists of miseries.
Half an hour later
I'm feeling a lot better now. Step 1 (acting in front of webcam while listening to the Beach Boys) worked, and I've got down to some proper charactery stuff. As I said, I'm playing two characters. I'm fine with one of them, because we are really very similar in the way we view the world. The other one, much less easy. I started by writing down everything I know and think about xu*, and it's actually going well. I've started stumbling over some profound truths, personal criticisms and occasionally slipping into the first person. Which is fantastic.
*xu (it's an all-purpose pronoun, standing for him or her)
I've even worked out what to do with my stage fright - you see, xu is pretty frightened too, so I'm just channeling it all in there. So I figure I'll have to watch The Sixth Sense and then [insert actor]'s movies on the way to the set, which'll contribute to a nervous frenzy, attack of hysteria, possible breakdown and perfect characterisation if I can keep it all under control.
"Why doesn't the dear boy just act?" said Lawrence Olivier. Good old method acting. Guessed what it is yet? XD Well I'm not telling you until we're finished...
Showing posts with label actors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label actors. Show all posts
Starring Hugh Grant as...Hugh Grant
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Mornin’ all. In the absence of anything better to write, here’s my film studies homework. We’re working on a past exam paper – unfortunately, we’re not allowed to answer question 1: “In what ways do you think films influence people’s lives?”. Pity, because I can throw heaps of information at that.
Basically, these exams are testing your movie trivia. OK, they call it revision of facts and case studies, but that’s more or less the same thing.
We’ve got a mini article about Julia Roberts which I am not not not going to type out for you, and the question…drumroll…
4 - “What does the above information tell you about the significance of stars in modern Hollywood? In what ways is this similar, or different from, Hollywood in the time of the Studio System?”
Isn’t that wonderfully open ended. He expects us to get three whole sides out of this!!! Anyway…
In the earliest days of the studio system, actors were never credited for films – only production companies. However, as the audience became familiar with certain performers, their names were used to help sell the movie. Mary Pickford, named “Little Mary” by fans, was an popular early star. Similarly, Julia Roberts’ image is used to promote her films. Though artistically Erin Brockovich might have received good reviews, its financial success rests on Julia Roberts’ presence. The growth of stars helped free the early film industry from constraints placed on it by the MPPC. At the time, to aid competition, all films had to be the same price and length. This was undermined when big name actors started demanding higher paychecks.
Erin Brockovich was made as a collaboration between three different studios. Under the studio system, vertical integration meant the production, exhibition and distribution of a film would all be controlled by one large company such as MGM (this control was eventually broken in 1948 by the Paramount Decrees) Studios would also have very tight control over the actors themselves – Julia Roberts would have worked for only one studio during her career, instead of a variety as shown in the article, though occasionally stars would be loaned from one studio to another.
An studio would carefully manage an actor’s entire image – they controlled where they went, what they wore, and how they were perceived by the audience. Buster Keaton’s contract reputedly [note: reputedly means that it actually didn't according to Snopes, but I needed a good example] held a clause forbidding him from smiling in public. Studios went to even more morally dubious lengths to get exactly the performances they wanted on screen: when Judy Garland appeared in The Wizard of Oz at the age of 16, MGM had her on various drugs to make her alert on set, and when these affected her sleeping patterns, began also drugging her to ensure she slept at night (this early addiction contributed to her death at the age of 47)
Erin Brockovich represents a small departure from Julia Roberts’ usual romantic comedy roles. In the past, a studio would have total control over the projects an artist would be involved in to help regulate their image. For example, when Bette Davis refused to appear in God’s Country and the Woman, Warner Bros. took away her leading role in Gone with the Wind, and served a successful injunction against her when she attempted to make two films in Britain.
Today, actors have much greater artistic freedom. However, many choose to maintain their image through certain roles in much the same way the studios would have done. A star’s roles have a symbiotic relationship with their overall image – Julia Roberts is famous for nice-girl roles in non-challenging films, such as Notting Hill and Runaway Bride. Similarly, while Russell Crowe is notorious for causing fights off screen, he also gets roles based on this audience perception – Romper Stomper, L.A. Confidential and Gladiator are all affected by this image.
Though Erin Brockovich is more of a serious movie, Julia Roberts is still playing an admirable and sympathetic character. Very few actors ever break away from their typical mould. Hugh Grant, for example, has never departed from the genre which made him famous – though his role in Bridget Jones’ Diary is unconventional, it is still a romantic comedy, and even Sense and Sensibility shares traits with the genre. George Clooney is an example of an actors who has successfully escaped his image – moving from early roles, like Out of Sight, which traded on his charm, into more serious, issue based movies such as Three Kings and Syriana.
After conducting an audience survey, I discovered that over ¾ people think the cast is the most important consideration in choosing a film, and Julia Roberts was voted one of the most popular actresses. However, to a certain extent, audiences pay to see actors appear in the same kind of roles. For example, The Mexican – a film Julia Roberts accepted a vastly smaller salary to be in, and a drastic departure from her usual work – was unsuccessful, despite her presence. Actors are discovering, as did the studios in the so-called “Golden Age” of Hollywood, that it is better financially to appear in many similar pictures, than take advantage of their artistic freedom and experiment with different roles.
Well that's what I handed in to my teacher anyway. What I was really thinking is actually, to be fair, Hollywood hasn’t changed that much. It’s still all about the money. Foreign and independent films still rarely stand a chance. And stars haven’t changed either.
Unlike the under the studios, they have artistic freedom – they can pick any film they like. But how many actually do? Can you remember Robert Redford ever playing a bad guy? I mean properly-Michael-Corleone-bad. He was a bandit in BCSK, a con man in The Sting, vaguely disreputable in The Great Gatsby and a tad pervy in Indecent Proposal but his redeemable qualities always outweigh the bad ones. The closest he’s come to being truly naughty is Spy Game, and he wasn’t that convincing. He’s still taking very good care of his image, in exactly the way the studios would have.
My dad claims Steve Buscemi has only ever played the same role. I haven’t seen that many of his films, but it honestly wouldn’t surprise me at all.
In fact, how many actors do break the mould? Off the top of my head:…Robin Williams (comedy genie to creepy creepy in 24 Hour Photo)…Jim Carrey (comedy Mask to sensitive and quiet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)…George Clooney (heartthrob to serious issues man, via some weird stuff along the way)…that’s all I can think of. Not counting the shock departures from type – Henry Fonda in Once Upon a Time in the West?! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Did anybody believe Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind? Almost – he was fantastic after all – but my mental image of him beating Guy Pierce to a pulp kept getting in the way.
There’s this symbiotic relationship – the film changes the perception of the star’s image, which changes the perception of the film etc etc. After all, Robert Redford’s character in Indecent Proposal could have been a total scumbag. Played by anyone else, he’d have been all slime and no charm. But we all know and trust Robert Redford.
Let’s put it this way. You’re stranded in a dark forest, and suddenly two cars draw up to offer you a lift home. One of them has Robert Redford in. The other one has Jack Nicholson. Which one are you going to get into the car with? Which one is less likely to chase you about with an axe? Or...say you needed a bodyguard: would you prefer Hugh Grant or Samuel L. Jackson?
What about the deliberately canny casting in Memento? The basic premise is that as Lenny has a five minute memory, he can’t ever really trust anyone fully. Teddy is this guy he meets along the way, who claims to be a friend. The cleverness is in the casting – Joey Pantalionio (pardon for spelling this wrong, not time to check imdb) has played a lot of baddies, and the moment we see him, we immediately distrust him. ‘Cos naturally, he’s gonna be a bad guy again, right?
The thing is, artistic integrity is one thing, financial security is another. All the most successful actors are the ones you can immediately claim cliché on. Paul Newman will be remembered for the blue-eyed-twinkle – never mind Road to Perdition. Clint Eastwood’s the cowboy guy. You don’t go to see Halle Berry in a hard-hitting-social-commentary. Some people might be interested in the film itself, but the Halle Berry fans will give it a miss and wait for her to get back into a bikini [end broad generalisation]. You will always inevitably earn more by sticking to “what you do best”. Perhaps it’s not entirely the actor’s fault – if you’re in a successful rom com, naturally you’ll be offered heaps more.
Our film studies class have taken part in a shoot-an-advert competition. Pretty cool - Ridley Scott says adverts are the best practice you can have for The Real Thing. We developed a story board, and today we went and shot it. Proper camera...proper camera man...proper moniter and boom. The only problem was there was five of us, and directing is not a team job. Now in our group, there were definitely two egos - mine, and this other lad who I honestly don't grudge at all. I actually made a conscious decision that, for the good of the project, we didn't really need more than one of the egos at work. So I took a back seat and spent the day watching someone else do my dream job. I know I did the right thing, but I still went home and cried. Probably not really cut out for this industry, eh XD
This fantastic day of fun was evened out by accidentally winning an unfairly flash new toy. It's got 40GB of room for music, photos or *drumroll* movies. My prayers have been answered!
PS - Saturday, Friends 3 and 4 have invited themselves around to watch RDogs. Honest they did! Well, I might have encouraged them a little...but basically, they actually want to come. Naturally I'm looking forward to this very much...it's gonna be total torment. I'm going to spend the entire time worrying whether they're enjoying it (they've heard great things about it after all) or getting overly unpleasanted out by the blood and swearing. Especially as they've no idea what they're letting themselves in for (i.e. most people can tell you at least one fact about most famous films, even if they haven't seen it...but they don't) I can tell you quite candidly that Friend 3 is the one of the nicest person you'll ever meet and certainly not a natural Mr Blonde fan, and Friend 4 has about the same terror threshold as I do: not high. It will be eventful...
At this point, me and Friend 3 are going to go to the cinema (nothing against Friend 4, she just doesn't want to come) to see Blood Diamond. Why? Well, partly bcos Friend 3 wants to see it. And partly to live by my own rules. I am a great believer that everybody should try things they don't know they're gonna like. By which I mean trying quirky and offbeat movies instead of blockbuster tat.
Of course, as I already like quirky and offbeat films, I don't need to bother. Hypocritical. Now I don't like real-lifey movies, I don't like issues movies and I especially don't like things set in Africa. Not that I've anything against Africa mind, just the moment I hear it's about Africa I get bored instantly. Very hypocritical - I do love Zulu. Anyway, I figure Blood Diamond's meant to be good, and I should be more adventurous with my watching.
Basically, these exams are testing your movie trivia. OK, they call it revision of facts and case studies, but that’s more or less the same thing.
We’ve got a mini article about Julia Roberts which I am not not not going to type out for you, and the question…drumroll…
4 - “What does the above information tell you about the significance of stars in modern Hollywood? In what ways is this similar, or different from, Hollywood in the time of the Studio System?”
Isn’t that wonderfully open ended. He expects us to get three whole sides out of this!!! Anyway…
In the earliest days of the studio system, actors were never credited for films – only production companies. However, as the audience became familiar with certain performers, their names were used to help sell the movie. Mary Pickford, named “Little Mary” by fans, was an popular early star. Similarly, Julia Roberts’ image is used to promote her films. Though artistically Erin Brockovich might have received good reviews, its financial success rests on Julia Roberts’ presence. The growth of stars helped free the early film industry from constraints placed on it by the MPPC. At the time, to aid competition, all films had to be the same price and length. This was undermined when big name actors started demanding higher paychecks.
Erin Brockovich was made as a collaboration between three different studios. Under the studio system, vertical integration meant the production, exhibition and distribution of a film would all be controlled by one large company such as MGM (this control was eventually broken in 1948 by the Paramount Decrees) Studios would also have very tight control over the actors themselves – Julia Roberts would have worked for only one studio during her career, instead of a variety as shown in the article, though occasionally stars would be loaned from one studio to another.
An studio would carefully manage an actor’s entire image – they controlled where they went, what they wore, and how they were perceived by the audience. Buster Keaton’s contract reputedly [note: reputedly means that it actually didn't according to Snopes, but I needed a good example] held a clause forbidding him from smiling in public. Studios went to even more morally dubious lengths to get exactly the performances they wanted on screen: when Judy Garland appeared in The Wizard of Oz at the age of 16, MGM had her on various drugs to make her alert on set, and when these affected her sleeping patterns, began also drugging her to ensure she slept at night (this early addiction contributed to her death at the age of 47)
Erin Brockovich represents a small departure from Julia Roberts’ usual romantic comedy roles. In the past, a studio would have total control over the projects an artist would be involved in to help regulate their image. For example, when Bette Davis refused to appear in God’s Country and the Woman, Warner Bros. took away her leading role in Gone with the Wind, and served a successful injunction against her when she attempted to make two films in Britain.
Today, actors have much greater artistic freedom. However, many choose to maintain their image through certain roles in much the same way the studios would have done. A star’s roles have a symbiotic relationship with their overall image – Julia Roberts is famous for nice-girl roles in non-challenging films, such as Notting Hill and Runaway Bride. Similarly, while Russell Crowe is notorious for causing fights off screen, he also gets roles based on this audience perception – Romper Stomper, L.A. Confidential and Gladiator are all affected by this image.
Though Erin Brockovich is more of a serious movie, Julia Roberts is still playing an admirable and sympathetic character. Very few actors ever break away from their typical mould. Hugh Grant, for example, has never departed from the genre which made him famous – though his role in Bridget Jones’ Diary is unconventional, it is still a romantic comedy, and even Sense and Sensibility shares traits with the genre. George Clooney is an example of an actors who has successfully escaped his image – moving from early roles, like Out of Sight, which traded on his charm, into more serious, issue based movies such as Three Kings and Syriana.
After conducting an audience survey, I discovered that over ¾ people think the cast is the most important consideration in choosing a film, and Julia Roberts was voted one of the most popular actresses. However, to a certain extent, audiences pay to see actors appear in the same kind of roles. For example, The Mexican – a film Julia Roberts accepted a vastly smaller salary to be in, and a drastic departure from her usual work – was unsuccessful, despite her presence. Actors are discovering, as did the studios in the so-called “Golden Age” of Hollywood, that it is better financially to appear in many similar pictures, than take advantage of their artistic freedom and experiment with different roles.
Well that's what I handed in to my teacher anyway. What I was really thinking is actually, to be fair, Hollywood hasn’t changed that much. It’s still all about the money. Foreign and independent films still rarely stand a chance. And stars haven’t changed either.
Unlike the under the studios, they have artistic freedom – they can pick any film they like. But how many actually do? Can you remember Robert Redford ever playing a bad guy? I mean properly-Michael-Corleone-bad. He was a bandit in BCSK, a con man in The Sting, vaguely disreputable in The Great Gatsby and a tad pervy in Indecent Proposal but his redeemable qualities always outweigh the bad ones. The closest he’s come to being truly naughty is Spy Game, and he wasn’t that convincing. He’s still taking very good care of his image, in exactly the way the studios would have.
My dad claims Steve Buscemi has only ever played the same role. I haven’t seen that many of his films, but it honestly wouldn’t surprise me at all.
In fact, how many actors do break the mould? Off the top of my head:…Robin Williams (comedy genie to creepy creepy in 24 Hour Photo)…Jim Carrey (comedy Mask to sensitive and quiet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)…George Clooney (heartthrob to serious issues man, via some weird stuff along the way)…that’s all I can think of. Not counting the shock departures from type – Henry Fonda in Once Upon a Time in the West?! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Did anybody believe Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind? Almost – he was fantastic after all – but my mental image of him beating Guy Pierce to a pulp kept getting in the way.
There’s this symbiotic relationship – the film changes the perception of the star’s image, which changes the perception of the film etc etc. After all, Robert Redford’s character in Indecent Proposal could have been a total scumbag. Played by anyone else, he’d have been all slime and no charm. But we all know and trust Robert Redford.
Let’s put it this way. You’re stranded in a dark forest, and suddenly two cars draw up to offer you a lift home. One of them has Robert Redford in. The other one has Jack Nicholson. Which one are you going to get into the car with? Which one is less likely to chase you about with an axe? Or...say you needed a bodyguard: would you prefer Hugh Grant or Samuel L. Jackson?
What about the deliberately canny casting in Memento? The basic premise is that as Lenny has a five minute memory, he can’t ever really trust anyone fully. Teddy is this guy he meets along the way, who claims to be a friend. The cleverness is in the casting – Joey Pantalionio (pardon for spelling this wrong, not time to check imdb) has played a lot of baddies, and the moment we see him, we immediately distrust him. ‘Cos naturally, he’s gonna be a bad guy again, right?
The thing is, artistic integrity is one thing, financial security is another. All the most successful actors are the ones you can immediately claim cliché on. Paul Newman will be remembered for the blue-eyed-twinkle – never mind Road to Perdition. Clint Eastwood’s the cowboy guy. You don’t go to see Halle Berry in a hard-hitting-social-commentary. Some people might be interested in the film itself, but the Halle Berry fans will give it a miss and wait for her to get back into a bikini [end broad generalisation]. You will always inevitably earn more by sticking to “what you do best”. Perhaps it’s not entirely the actor’s fault – if you’re in a successful rom com, naturally you’ll be offered heaps more.
Our film studies class have taken part in a shoot-an-advert competition. Pretty cool - Ridley Scott says adverts are the best practice you can have for The Real Thing. We developed a story board, and today we went and shot it. Proper camera...proper camera man...proper moniter and boom. The only problem was there was five of us, and directing is not a team job. Now in our group, there were definitely two egos - mine, and this other lad who I honestly don't grudge at all. I actually made a conscious decision that, for the good of the project, we didn't really need more than one of the egos at work. So I took a back seat and spent the day watching someone else do my dream job. I know I did the right thing, but I still went home and cried. Probably not really cut out for this industry, eh XD
This fantastic day of fun was evened out by accidentally winning an unfairly flash new toy. It's got 40GB of room for music, photos or *drumroll* movies. My prayers have been answered!
PS - Saturday, Friends 3 and 4 have invited themselves around to watch RDogs. Honest they did! Well, I might have encouraged them a little...but basically, they actually want to come. Naturally I'm looking forward to this very much...it's gonna be total torment. I'm going to spend the entire time worrying whether they're enjoying it (they've heard great things about it after all) or getting overly unpleasanted out by the blood and swearing. Especially as they've no idea what they're letting themselves in for (i.e. most people can tell you at least one fact about most famous films, even if they haven't seen it...but they don't) I can tell you quite candidly that Friend 3 is the one of the nicest person you'll ever meet and certainly not a natural Mr Blonde fan, and Friend 4 has about the same terror threshold as I do: not high. It will be eventful...
At this point, me and Friend 3 are going to go to the cinema (nothing against Friend 4, she just doesn't want to come) to see Blood Diamond. Why? Well, partly bcos Friend 3 wants to see it. And partly to live by my own rules. I am a great believer that everybody should try things they don't know they're gonna like. By which I mean trying quirky and offbeat movies instead of blockbuster tat.
Of course, as I already like quirky and offbeat films, I don't need to bother. Hypocritical. Now I don't like real-lifey movies, I don't like issues movies and I especially don't like things set in Africa. Not that I've anything against Africa mind, just the moment I hear it's about Africa I get bored instantly. Very hypocritical - I do love Zulu. Anyway, I figure Blood Diamond's meant to be good, and I should be more adventurous with my watching.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I'm baaaack!
Firstly: here are the answers to yesterpost's quiz. Well done for everyone who tried - 6/10 was the highest score, so possibly it was a bit tricky...
Secondly: holiday was miserable, but considering I saw 4 films on the way there (Little Miss Sunshine, Man on Fire, Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada and Lady in the Water. Enjoyed all of them about equally - I didn't want 3 Burials to end, it was so great. Lady was wonderful, but I can see why people disliked it. Little Miss Sunshine was an ominous choice for a family holiday...and I've wanted to see Man on Fire for ages. Strange film. 50% sweet story of bonding and redemption, with 50% killing crazy rampage stuck on the end. Still...I wasn't complaining), , 5 while actually there (Full Metal Jacket, great, Apocalypse Now, great, Muriel's Wedding, great in its own way, Nightmare Before Xmas, great in a great way and High School Musical which...wasn't really great, but an awful lot of fun) and 6 on the way back it couldn't have been too bad (Those six were...The Departed, Fearless, Little Red Flowers, Scoop, An Inconvenient Truth and one more which I've forgotten.)
Thirdly: 2007 is here! 2006 is over! So it's time for my (drumroll please)
I saw only one M. Night movie, one Terry Gilliam (misfortune plagued my efforts to see both The Fisher King and Tideland), 2 Michael Caine films and 5 starring Robert Redford.
Best movie moments – definitely explaining Donnie Darko to my history teacher at 2:00 in the morning at Berlin airport. Though my sister walking into the room just before the “chest bursting” scene in a film I'm sure you remember, and all three of us simultaneously telling her to scram was pretty funny.
Things which are never funny and bound to be lame – Godfather spoofs, Brokeback spoofs
Things which are always funny and never get old – re-cut trailers, Battleship Potempkin spoofs (Brazil, Bananas, The Untouchables)
Movie laugh of the year – Kevin Bacon playing Six Degrees on Will and Grace. (approximately: KB - “Will Smith told me that” ? – “but you’ve never been in any movies with Will Smith.” KB “No, but Will Smith was in M.I.B with Tommy Lee Jones, and he was in JFK with me.”) I don’t usually watch the show, I just caught that bit. Laughed mucho.
2 films I enjoyed, which I thought I’d hate
Phonebooth and the Beach
2 films I hated which I thought I’d enjoy
Seven Samuri and Asphalt Jungle
One “great film” I hated
Vertigo
One “awful film” I enjoyed
Godfather 3
Things I’ve learnt – the Godfather, BestMovieEver™, might actually be the best movie ever; Al Pacino, BestActorEver™, might actually be the best actor ever; just because it’s Hitchcock doesn’t mean it’s good; just because it came first doesn’t mean it’s better than the films that copied it (Seven Samuri and Asphalt Jungle); the hero’s partner has the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer; never ever ever retire (SoaP, Spy Game, Behind Enemy Lines and pretty much everything else); you can kill somebody with a coathanger (Godfather 2, as I repeatedly assured mes amis when we wento to Berlin) and cure snake bites with pointy earrings (SOAP); taking part in heists is basically suicidal (see here), but make sure you take an umbrella (Rififi)some films can be watched over and over again (R+GaD, 12 times in * months and counting); reservoir contains 3 rs.
And now, the prizes, awarded to everything that impressed me this year. That’s right, just me – based on the films I got around to seeing. Which probably won’t make it a very fun read for you, and I’m sorry for that. Bear with me. This is why I started the blog to begin with – Oscar-bait movies never come to our cinema, so I rarely have an opinion on Oscar-nominated films and I wanted the fun of me own awards ceremony. Anyway…they always get it wrong…so with no further ado, and much Godfather praising before us, I present…the three awards catagories: people prizes, picture prizes and plot prizes.
This year’s best performances
This year’s coolest characters
Tuttle the heroic heating engineer! (Brazil)
The Critic He gets all the best lines, and sends up MNS's habit of tidily signposting his plots(Lady in the Water)
Dwayne, the Nietzche reading teen (Little Miss Sunshine)
The Drill Instructor, (Full Metal Jacket)
Withnail – Part misunderstood genius, part obnoxious drunk, wholly endearing. Somehow. (Withnail & I)
This year’s hottest guys
(aka the helpless drooling prize, in approximate order)
1 Robert Redford in the Sting. It’s the red suit-n-cap look. And the way he says “I don’t know enough about killing to kill him”.
2 Michael in Godfather 1. One word – eyes. Also wins: most unsuitable crush of the year.
3 Jimmie, the Commitments. Just fantastic.
4 Messrs Blonde, Pink and Orange. Can’t pick between them. All very hot.
5 Vincent in Godfather 3. Running out of gushing things to say.
6 Executive Officer Kane, Alien. Hey, I’ve always thought the actor was gud looking…even if I can’t remember his name.
7 The dark haired guy in the History Boys. Can’t remember his name either. Only remember he was hot.
This year’s hottest gals
(aka the insane jealosy award, in approximate order)
Eddie and Bela, Ed Wood – Aw. This really, really made the film. I mean, Ed’s kinda exploiting Bela’s fame to get his films made, but the wonderful thing about Ed is he is just so good natured it’s more than that…
Special mention:
Denys and Karen, Out of Africa
Messrs Orange and White, Reservoir Dogs – speculation on the nature of their relationship not appreciated. Just buddies, ok? :)
Nick and Marlie, Runaway Jury – ok, so they weren’t sweet but they did look very good together.
Emma and Knightly, Emma – Anything involving Jeremy Northam has gotta be sweet.
Kaylee and Simon, Serenity – OK, so it may mean very little to you, but this is the culmination of 17 EPISODES of not getting around to it. Plus, the actual lines are totally fantastic.
Messiest and most miserable death
(Containing judicious amounts of blacking out)
Malone, Untouchables – the baseball bat, the lift – some pretty sick deaths in this one, but I’m going to have to go with Malone. Why? It just looked…very painful. The murderers-eye-viewcam was hooking, and the dash of relief when he got foiled and oh its not fair.
The Cow, Three Kings – just because it’s not human, not to say it doesn’t have feelings! May I remind you the poor creature explodes? Our heroes are metres from a mine when saved by an unfortunate cow. “Anybody hurt?” someone cries to his friends, looking at the blood and carnage. “No…no, it’s all cow” comes the reply as someone removes the head from the truck bonnet. So sympathy, please…
Mengeler, Boys from Brazil. The last scene is a bit nasty really. After their fight, both participants are given at least 10 minutes of sitting around time with their various wounds. Which is unpleasant to say the least, but it gets worse when the flesh-eating Dobermen are released
The chap in the loo, Snakes on a plane There were a lot of nasty deaths in this one – the baseball bat, boils-and-foaming from snake bites and a friend voted in favour of the man trampled and stiletto’d to death. Well it was a tricky choice, but I’ve decided to go for this guy – which provoked simultaneous horror and smirks in the cinema. The mirror looked painful.
Mr Orange, Reservoir Dogs – Ew. OK, so you can argue it wasn’t actually the first bullet that did it, but then again you can also argue that he made it at the end and got to a hospital in time. Stop making excuses. He was most certainly on the way out, even if he didn’t quite get around to it…
Everyone in the first ten minutes, Ghost Ship – I haven’t seen the whole thing, but I still haven’t got over the sheer cheek of this scene. The feeling of “Oh my…they can’t possibly do that!” after the wire has just hit.
Special mention:
Jack, Brokeback – you only see 30 secs of this, but that’s enough.
Sonny, The Godfather – did you know that the easiest G soundclip to find on the web is the sound of myriad machines guns going of?
Gatsby, the Great Gatsby –waaaaaa! And it was such an awful bathing costume!
Stephane, Room 69. Ahehehehehehehe…mwahahahaha, I’m sorry this humor is in rather bad taste, but I love this film absolutely. Perhaps the end was meant to be horrific – but it made me chuckle.
Teddy, Memento. It’s the splatter of gore on the floor that gets me. So ok, it’s only a bullet to the head, not half as drawn out as some of the competition, but the sick beauty of the blood dripping up the wall has to be recognised.
Whozzername from English Patient – dying alone in a cold dark cave, not messy as such but certainly unpleasant.
Mario, Rififi. In fact, I could go for anyone (everyone?) in this film. But the sheer terror of the situation wins here, the poor poor darling….
Firstly: here are the answers to yesterpost's quiz. Well done for everyone who tried - 6/10 was the highest score, so possibly it was a bit tricky...
Secondly: holiday was miserable, but considering I saw 4 films on the way there (Little Miss Sunshine, Man on Fire, Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada and Lady in the Water. Enjoyed all of them about equally - I didn't want 3 Burials to end, it was so great. Lady was wonderful, but I can see why people disliked it. Little Miss Sunshine was an ominous choice for a family holiday...and I've wanted to see Man on Fire for ages. Strange film. 50% sweet story of bonding and redemption, with 50% killing crazy rampage stuck on the end. Still...I wasn't complaining), , 5 while actually there (Full Metal Jacket, great, Apocalypse Now, great, Muriel's Wedding, great in its own way, Nightmare Before Xmas, great in a great way and High School Musical which...wasn't really great, but an awful lot of fun) and 6 on the way back it couldn't have been too bad (Those six were...The Departed, Fearless, Little Red Flowers, Scoop, An Inconvenient Truth and one more which I've forgotten.)
Thirdly: 2007 is here! 2006 is over! So it's time for my (drumroll please)
REVIEW OF THE YEAR
Hence today's post title :)
This was the year… I developed, suffered and survived (just) three irrational obsessions pretty much unscathed. I saw at least 125 movies for the first time, 26 of the imdb top list and 17 of the Total Film top 100 list. 3 films entered my own favourites; it’ll be interesting to see how long they stay. I went to the cinema approx. 6 times. I discovered Francis Ford Coppola, Sergio Leone, Woody Allen, Brian De Palma, Tarantino, Michael Mann, Hitchock, Kurosawa, Al Pacino, Robert deNiro, Marlon Brando, the Marx Brothers, Billy Wilder and had a good bash at Kubrick and Tony Scott. I even attended my own movie premiere, and won a prize (admittedly 3rd) in a filmy-scripty-contest. I’ve seen The Two Best Movies Ever Made (IMHO), met The Best Actor Ever and a few other good’uns along the way. And I discovered crime movies.I saw only one M. Night movie, one Terry Gilliam (misfortune plagued my efforts to see both The Fisher King and Tideland), 2 Michael Caine films and 5 starring Robert Redford.
Best movie moments – definitely explaining Donnie Darko to my history teacher at 2:00 in the morning at Berlin airport. Though my sister walking into the room just before the “chest bursting” scene in a film I'm sure you remember, and all three of us simultaneously telling her to scram was pretty funny.
Things which are never funny and bound to be lame – Godfather spoofs, Brokeback spoofs
Things which are always funny and never get old – re-cut trailers, Battleship Potempkin spoofs (Brazil, Bananas, The Untouchables)
Movie laugh of the year – Kevin Bacon playing Six Degrees on Will and Grace. (approximately: KB - “Will Smith told me that” ? – “but you’ve never been in any movies with Will Smith.” KB “No, but Will Smith was in M.I.B with Tommy Lee Jones, and he was in JFK with me.”) I don’t usually watch the show, I just caught that bit. Laughed mucho.
2 films I enjoyed, which I thought I’d hate
Phonebooth and the Beach
2 films I hated which I thought I’d enjoy
Seven Samuri and Asphalt Jungle
One “great film” I hated
Vertigo
One “awful film” I enjoyed
Godfather 3
Things I’ve learnt – the Godfather, BestMovieEver™, might actually be the best movie ever; Al Pacino, BestActorEver™, might actually be the best actor ever; just because it’s Hitchcock doesn’t mean it’s good; just because it came first doesn’t mean it’s better than the films that copied it (Seven Samuri and Asphalt Jungle); the hero’s partner has the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer; never ever ever retire (SoaP, Spy Game, Behind Enemy Lines and pretty much everything else); you can kill somebody with a coathanger (Godfather 2, as I repeatedly assured mes amis when we wento to Berlin) and cure snake bites with pointy earrings (SOAP); taking part in heists is basically suicidal (see here), but make sure you take an umbrella (Rififi)some films can be watched over and over again (R+GaD, 12 times in * months and counting); reservoir contains 3 rs.
And now, the prizes, awarded to everything that impressed me this year. That’s right, just me – based on the films I got around to seeing. Which probably won’t make it a very fun read for you, and I’m sorry for that. Bear with me. This is why I started the blog to begin with – Oscar-bait movies never come to our cinema, so I rarely have an opinion on Oscar-nominated films and I wanted the fun of me own awards ceremony. Anyway…they always get it wrong…so with no further ado, and much Godfather praising before us, I present…the three awards catagories: people prizes, picture prizes and plot prizes.
PEOPLE PRIZES
This year’s best performances
Michael (The Godfather) – yes I know he’s got an advantage because I’ve seen three films, but really you’re just making excuses. The first nomination of the year, and it may as well have been the only one. Anyone who wants to take this up with me is in trouble, I refuse to budge on the issue. But in all honesty, who could disagree? Not only of the year, but of my entire movie watching life so far. And that’s not going to change for a long time. (also wins: Frodo Baggins award for best performance by a pair of eyes in a leading role)
Gordon (Batman Begins)
Interesting fact of the month: Gary Oldman can act. Really well. Watch how he actually reacts to everything in the scene. Observe how he never stops reacting and how he’s generally very good. It just quietly blew me away. It’s a lesson in how to pull off a tiny, unimportant role and do it well.
Sally (Cabaret)
This was the second one of the year, it was a long time ago and I really can’t remember anything great to say.
Marian (True Grit)
I thought she was sweet! Feisty and slightly charming, after her father’s death she stirs up a whole lot of trouble which results in 20-or-so people getting shot in variously unpleasant ways. Very determined, virtually to the point of being irritating, what I liked about her most was her accountant sided. How many accountant heroines has Hollywood known? At every turn she’s trying to get better deals and more for her money. So fine, it’s hardly a great performance (not like it ever stood a chance even if it had been) but she was a breath of fresh air and sparkled delightfully on screen.
Cromwell and Charles (Cromwell)
I decided against nominating more than one person per film in this category, and then I thought hey! What the hell! None of them are going to beat Michael anyway! So here we are, **’s positively Shakespearean rendition of Cromwell and Alec Guinness’ performance of King Charles. Besides, they both provide something for the other to fight against, producing an elegant game of ping pong which positively sizzles with frustration on both sides (good God I’m making it sound like a rom com…
Hermione (HP4)
Not exactly in the league of the rest of the competition, but still very good. Perhaps I was just looking for light in a messy movie? Perhaps it’s just the culmination of four films of regard, in which she is the only decent child actress. Whatever. She manages to hold her own around the, frankly, drippy Harry and Ron, and all the British thesps in their minor roles.
Tony Stephanois (Rififi)
He’s a crook, and a not entirely pleasant one, but you really do feel for him. It’s all in the eyes. He convinces you there’s something else there. And he gets one hell of a great scene with Cesar.
Whazzzisname, as played by Paul Giammatti (Sideways)
The hero guy. The one not getting married. Sorry, I haven't seen it for ages and imdb is blocked on the school computers. He’s so sweet. Really really sweet. Basically, I can’t say much more than that.
Mr Orange (Reservoir Dogs)
I know what you’re thinking. You’re accusing me of putting this merely because I’ve already given Gary Oldman a nod and I’d feel bad if I didn’t balance it out. And yes, I would feel bad, but that’s definitely not the reason. It’s because he’s got a fantastic voice, and can squeeze more meaning into two words than some people can during a whole film. And plus…not many actors could sustain what is basically a 90 minute death scene. Or manage to look this hot while doing it… (also wins: most huggable actor)
Stu (Phone Booth)
Because Mr Farrel carries this film. His performance absolutely sells the situation, and keeps you interested in staring at the same tiny location for 90 minutes.
Irwin (History Boys)
Not a massive role for overacting, but one or two scenes contained such sparkle…I remember a teary scene in a dim corridor I enjoyed. Memory going hazy…
Gordon (Batman Begins)
Interesting fact of the month: Gary Oldman can act. Really well. Watch how he actually reacts to everything in the scene. Observe how he never stops reacting and how he’s generally very good. It just quietly blew me away. It’s a lesson in how to pull off a tiny, unimportant role and do it well.
Sally (Cabaret)
This was the second one of the year, it was a long time ago and I really can’t remember anything great to say.
Marian (True Grit)
I thought she was sweet! Feisty and slightly charming, after her father’s death she stirs up a whole lot of trouble which results in 20-or-so people getting shot in variously unpleasant ways. Very determined, virtually to the point of being irritating, what I liked about her most was her accountant sided. How many accountant heroines has Hollywood known? At every turn she’s trying to get better deals and more for her money. So fine, it’s hardly a great performance (not like it ever stood a chance even if it had been) but she was a breath of fresh air and sparkled delightfully on screen.
Cromwell and Charles (Cromwell)
I decided against nominating more than one person per film in this category, and then I thought hey! What the hell! None of them are going to beat Michael anyway! So here we are, **’s positively Shakespearean rendition of Cromwell and Alec Guinness’ performance of King Charles. Besides, they both provide something for the other to fight against, producing an elegant game of ping pong which positively sizzles with frustration on both sides (good God I’m making it sound like a rom com…
Hermione (HP4)
Not exactly in the league of the rest of the competition, but still very good. Perhaps I was just looking for light in a messy movie? Perhaps it’s just the culmination of four films of regard, in which she is the only decent child actress. Whatever. She manages to hold her own around the, frankly, drippy Harry and Ron, and all the British thesps in their minor roles.
Tony Stephanois (Rififi)
He’s a crook, and a not entirely pleasant one, but you really do feel for him. It’s all in the eyes. He convinces you there’s something else there. And he gets one hell of a great scene with Cesar.
Whazzzisname, as played by Paul Giammatti (Sideways)
The hero guy. The one not getting married. Sorry, I haven't seen it for ages and imdb is blocked on the school computers. He’s so sweet. Really really sweet. Basically, I can’t say much more than that.
Mr Orange (Reservoir Dogs)
I know what you’re thinking. You’re accusing me of putting this merely because I’ve already given Gary Oldman a nod and I’d feel bad if I didn’t balance it out. And yes, I would feel bad, but that’s definitely not the reason. It’s because he’s got a fantastic voice, and can squeeze more meaning into two words than some people can during a whole film. And plus…not many actors could sustain what is basically a 90 minute death scene. Or manage to look this hot while doing it… (also wins: most huggable actor)
Stu (Phone Booth)
Because Mr Farrel carries this film. His performance absolutely sells the situation, and keeps you interested in staring at the same tiny location for 90 minutes.
Irwin (History Boys)
Not a massive role for overacting, but one or two scenes contained such sparkle…I remember a teary scene in a dim corridor I enjoyed. Memory going hazy…
This year’s coolest characters
(i.e. I loved ‘em for the lines not the acting, which might be the same thing really, but also again maybe not…)
Tuttle the heroic heating engineer! (Brazil)
The Critic He gets all the best lines, and sends up MNS's habit of tidily signposting his plots(Lady in the Water)
Dwayne, the Nietzche reading teen (Little Miss Sunshine)
The Drill Instructor, (Full Metal Jacket)
Withnail – Part misunderstood genius, part obnoxious drunk, wholly endearing. Somehow. (Withnail & I)
This year’s hottest guys
(aka the helpless drooling prize, in approximate order)
1 Robert Redford in the Sting. It’s the red suit-n-cap look. And the way he says “I don’t know enough about killing to kill him”.
2 Michael in Godfather 1. One word – eyes. Also wins: most unsuitable crush of the year.
3 Jimmie, the Commitments. Just fantastic.
4 Messrs Blonde, Pink and Orange. Can’t pick between them. All very hot.
5 Vincent in Godfather 3. Running out of gushing things to say.
6 Executive Officer Kane, Alien. Hey, I’ve always thought the actor was gud looking…even if I can’t remember his name.
7 The dark haired guy in the History Boys. Can’t remember his name either. Only remember he was hot.
This year’s hottest gals
(aka the insane jealosy award, in approximate order)
1 Mia, Pulp Fiction. So now I see why guys think Uma Thurman is attractive, cos I’ve never got that before. Mia is seriously stunning.
2 Marilyn in Some Like it Hot. Dictionary definition of gorgeous, even if not quite the dictionary spelling– totally lived up to me expectations.
3 Marla, Fight Club. I thought she was anyway...
4 Helen in Helen of Troy. Sienna Gullory will play me in my own biopic…
5 Inara, Serenity. Just pretty.
6 Ripley, Alien. Again, now I see why peeps think Sigourney Weaver is gud lookin.
7 Imelda, the Commitments. Very blonde, but pretty attractive.
Prize for the most unrealistically pretty cast – Starship Troopers. Seriously, have these guys been sculpted or something?! They look like Barbie and Ken.
2 Marilyn in Some Like it Hot. Dictionary definition of gorgeous, even if not quite the dictionary spelling– totally lived up to me expectations.
3 Marla, Fight Club. I thought she was anyway...
4 Helen in Helen of Troy. Sienna Gullory will play me in my own biopic…
5 Inara, Serenity. Just pretty.
6 Ripley, Alien. Again, now I see why peeps think Sigourney Weaver is gud lookin.
7 Imelda, the Commitments. Very blonde, but pretty attractive.
Prize for the most unrealistically pretty cast – Starship Troopers. Seriously, have these guys been sculpted or something?! They look like Barbie and Ken.
Sweetest pair –
After some deliberation, I extended this to friends as well as lovers.
After some deliberation, I extended this to friends as well as lovers.
Dubey and Alice, Monsoon Wedding – who can resist a courtship made up of that wonderful mystical music? Who can deny that a heart made of marigolds surrounded by candles and prayers is not sweet. And who else thinks that for all the fun of the main party, they had the sweetest wedding of all?
Donnie and Gretchen, Donnie Darko – this is just plain beautiful
Gabriella and Troy, High School Musical – yeh…but…you do really want them to end up together, right?
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, R+GaD – a totally perfect pair. They just balance so well, and are soo sweet…I could talk for a long time on this topic…
Donnie and Gretchen, Donnie Darko – this is just plain beautiful
Gabriella and Troy, High School Musical – yeh…but…you do really want them to end up together, right?
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, R+GaD – a totally perfect pair. They just balance so well, and are soo sweet…I could talk for a long time on this topic…
Eddie and Bela, Ed Wood – Aw. This really, really made the film. I mean, Ed’s kinda exploiting Bela’s fame to get his films made, but the wonderful thing about Ed is he is just so good natured it’s more than that…
Special mention:
Denys and Karen, Out of Africa
Messrs Orange and White, Reservoir Dogs – speculation on the nature of their relationship not appreciated. Just buddies, ok? :)
Nick and Marlie, Runaway Jury – ok, so they weren’t sweet but they did look very good together.
Emma and Knightly, Emma – Anything involving Jeremy Northam has gotta be sweet.
Kaylee and Simon, Serenity – OK, so it may mean very little to you, but this is the culmination of 17 EPISODES of not getting around to it. Plus, the actual lines are totally fantastic.
Messiest and most miserable death
(Containing judicious amounts of blacking out)
Malone, Untouchables – the baseball bat, the lift – some pretty sick deaths in this one, but I’m going to have to go with Malone. Why? It just looked…very painful. The murderers-eye-viewcam was hooking, and the dash of relief when he got foiled and oh its not fair.
The Cow, Three Kings – just because it’s not human, not to say it doesn’t have feelings! May I remind you the poor creature explodes? Our heroes are metres from a mine when saved by an unfortunate cow. “Anybody hurt?” someone cries to his friends, looking at the blood and carnage. “No…no, it’s all cow” comes the reply as someone removes the head from the truck bonnet. So sympathy, please…
Mengeler, Boys from Brazil. The last scene is a bit nasty really. After their fight, both participants are given at least 10 minutes of sitting around time with their various wounds. Which is unpleasant to say the least, but it gets worse when the flesh-eating Dobermen are released
The chap in the loo, Snakes on a plane There were a lot of nasty deaths in this one – the baseball bat, boils-and-foaming from snake bites and a friend voted in favour of the man trampled and stiletto’d to death. Well it was a tricky choice, but I’ve decided to go for this guy – which provoked simultaneous horror and smirks in the cinema. The mirror looked painful.
Mr Orange, Reservoir Dogs – Ew. OK, so you can argue it wasn’t actually the first bullet that did it, but then again you can also argue that he made it at the end and got to a hospital in time. Stop making excuses. He was most certainly on the way out, even if he didn’t quite get around to it…
Everyone in the first ten minutes, Ghost Ship – I haven’t seen the whole thing, but I still haven’t got over the sheer cheek of this scene. The feeling of “Oh my…they can’t possibly do that!” after the wire has just hit.
Special mention:
Jack, Brokeback – you only see 30 secs of this, but that’s enough.
Sonny, The Godfather – did you know that the easiest G soundclip to find on the web is the sound of myriad machines guns going of?
Gatsby, the Great Gatsby –waaaaaa! And it was such an awful bathing costume!
Stephane, Room 69. Ahehehehehehehe…mwahahahaha, I’m sorry this humor is in rather bad taste, but I love this film absolutely. Perhaps the end was meant to be horrific – but it made me chuckle.
Teddy, Memento. It’s the splatter of gore on the floor that gets me. So ok, it’s only a bullet to the head, not half as drawn out as some of the competition, but the sick beauty of the blood dripping up the wall has to be recognised.
Whozzername from English Patient – dying alone in a cold dark cave, not messy as such but certainly unpleasant.
Mario, Rififi. In fact, I could go for anyone (everyone?) in this film. But the sheer terror of the situation wins here, the poor poor darling….
Can't pick anyone in particular: Man on Fire.
Massacre award: Downfall. It might not quite kill off all its cast, but apart from the Goebbles junior, no one death stands out here as being especially unpleasant. It’s the relentless combination.
Massacre award: Downfall. It might not quite kill off all its cast, but apart from the Goebbles junior, no one death stands out here as being especially unpleasant. It’s the relentless combination.
Gonna put the next set in a new post, just to keep things tidy
It is a terrible moment in a young man's life when he admits "I will never play the dane!"
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I was rereading the only edition of Empire which resides permanently in my room (why this one? It started off one of my cinematic obsessions a few years back, and another one just recently. An Al Pacino interview which through a long and bizzare chain of events, which if recounted would make you doubt my sanity, convinced me he was a kindred spirit and I had to see one of his films, so I randomly picked one that looked interesting and spent a few years moping about it until I was given the boxed set, and now see what’s happened…It’s also the issue with the review of the Reservoir Dogs re-release. Normally, a special edition DVD is reviewed with two inches for the film and two for the features. This review, however, was taken up entirely with the extras save for a single line about the thing itself. That line, which makes me grin whenever I read it, was: “Bloody brilliant, but you knew that already”. Genius! Incidentally, and to stray even further from my point, it’s also the wretched issue which spoilt two Gf movies with a well placed question “But why did M…?!”) and it made me think of a totally unconnected AP interview I had read hidden in the corner of a bookshop, in a book about film which I had absolutely no intention of buying. Can’t remember any exact quotes, I’m afraid. They were discussing Scarface, and he mentioned he had made his daughter promise not to watch it. Though he was pretty sure she had anyway.
That got me thinking…wouldn’t it be weird to see your dad, the pinnacle of respectability and morality in your life, the one who had always told you to be good and never play with guns, running around and causing a bloodbath? Don’t take drugs, they’re bad, and here’s me playing an addict? Just like in zombie movies when your best friend gets turned into a zombie, and you know you’ve got to kill him because he’s going to eat you, but he still looks like your friend…when I was at primary school, I remember a play about Egypt performed by the older students. Must have made a big impression on me, because I never learnt the name of the girl who played Isis. Now of course, she was only in the year above or something, but at the same time she was the goddess for me. It’s always her I imagine whenever people talk about the myths. Which is pretty disturbing when you think about it. Then again Isis had only had to put her husband’s dismembered body back together, and I didn’t actually know the girl.
But imagine if you saw a film with a family member in. You’d have these conflicting ideas in your head about the character and the person. And as I said, watching them be evil would be bad.
But not as bad as if something dreadful happened to the character. I remember reading about an episode of CSI, in which our hero ends up trapped in a coffin underground or something. He must have put up a good performance, because the actor’s father couldn’t bear to watch and had to leave the viewing room. Now I’m pretty sensitive, and I remember being morose for ages after watching the end of a film I won’t spoil for you, because Michael Caine ended up being shot at the end. I couldn't watch last time one of Robert Redford's alter-egos got gunned down. And I don’t even know them. No it can’t be nice, what with the excessive death-and-torture sequences Hollywood seems so fond of. Was it Monica Belucci’s husband who couldn’t watch Irreversable? Or did he direct it? I can’t remember exactly, there’s a story there somewhere…I do remember that she had another version of the dress made, because she liked it so much, but after shooting ended she couldn’t bear to see the thing ever again.
Ooooh, hell I hadn’t even thought about the romance scenes! What torture! I mean, watching your beloved die would be nasty. But watching him fall in love with someone else would be total agony! And I’m not even going to comment on the kissing.
I gave up acting partly because I wasn’t really all that good, partly because it terrified the shit out of me (not being on stage, that was fine – it was the actual acting I couldn’t handle), and partly because I always got too involved. Consciously avoiding the final rehearsals of Romeo and Juliet* because it upset me too much was the final straw, and I haven’t looked back since. The idea still makes me jumpy. Obviously they must enjoy it – I only know, I could never do it as a career ever.
Reminds me of my own film, actually. Haven't I told you about our film yet? Well to cut a 3-year-long story short, we filmed Fellowship of the Ring with 7 actresses (one of which never appeared on screen, and one of which was me), a £10 budget on an island with no mountains, lakes, rivers or forests. And actually, all that considered, it's not half bad. One of the reasons for this is that our Frodo is great. No offence to everybody else, but she was great. Now the funny thing is, our movie Frodo and their movie Frodo have merged in my mind to the point that she actually looks a lot like Frodo, and whenever I think about scenes we haven't shot I occasionally imagine her instead. I'm positive they have exactly the same expressions. It's weird in the extreme.
I wonder which actor has “died” the most times? I wonder which has “killed” the most people. And I wonder how hard it is for the people watching…?
On a different note, I watched the Shootist, which is probably something to write home about but I can't think of any informed comments to make. Pretty witty script though, some very ironic lines. And they should have done more with the casino dandy. He was cool. AND there's a new Robert Redford film coming out. Yay! I hear you say. It's called An Unfinished Life, I think, and it stars him as a grandfather and...grandfather?! Ah yes, keep forgetting he's almost 70. Excuse me while I go away and cry.
*Me and Shakespeare go back a long time. It's a very unhappy story, and it involves me spending a lot of time sitting in toilets wishing I was somewhere other than five minutes from going on stage. That's where the title comes from. I gave up acting the first time I was in a Shakespeare, was coaxed back and a few years later, I try it again and what a surprise, I'm off the stage. Forever this time. Right now, though, we're going through a period of detente. You've got Tom Stoppard to thank for that. But don't worry, it won't last. We'llbe back to tearing scraps out of each other soon.
That got me thinking…wouldn’t it be weird to see your dad, the pinnacle of respectability and morality in your life, the one who had always told you to be good and never play with guns, running around and causing a bloodbath? Don’t take drugs, they’re bad, and here’s me playing an addict? Just like in zombie movies when your best friend gets turned into a zombie, and you know you’ve got to kill him because he’s going to eat you, but he still looks like your friend…when I was at primary school, I remember a play about Egypt performed by the older students. Must have made a big impression on me, because I never learnt the name of the girl who played Isis. Now of course, she was only in the year above or something, but at the same time she was the goddess for me. It’s always her I imagine whenever people talk about the myths. Which is pretty disturbing when you think about it. Then again Isis had only had to put her husband’s dismembered body back together, and I didn’t actually know the girl.
But imagine if you saw a film with a family member in. You’d have these conflicting ideas in your head about the character and the person. And as I said, watching them be evil would be bad.
But not as bad as if something dreadful happened to the character. I remember reading about an episode of CSI, in which our hero ends up trapped in a coffin underground or something. He must have put up a good performance, because the actor’s father couldn’t bear to watch and had to leave the viewing room. Now I’m pretty sensitive, and I remember being morose for ages after watching the end of a film I won’t spoil for you, because Michael Caine ended up being shot at the end. I couldn't watch last time one of Robert Redford's alter-egos got gunned down. And I don’t even know them. No it can’t be nice, what with the excessive death-and-torture sequences Hollywood seems so fond of. Was it Monica Belucci’s husband who couldn’t watch Irreversable? Or did he direct it? I can’t remember exactly, there’s a story there somewhere…I do remember that she had another version of the dress made, because she liked it so much, but after shooting ended she couldn’t bear to see the thing ever again.
Ooooh, hell I hadn’t even thought about the romance scenes! What torture! I mean, watching your beloved die would be nasty. But watching him fall in love with someone else would be total agony! And I’m not even going to comment on the kissing.
I gave up acting partly because I wasn’t really all that good, partly because it terrified the shit out of me (not being on stage, that was fine – it was the actual acting I couldn’t handle), and partly because I always got too involved. Consciously avoiding the final rehearsals of Romeo and Juliet* because it upset me too much was the final straw, and I haven’t looked back since. The idea still makes me jumpy. Obviously they must enjoy it – I only know, I could never do it as a career ever.
Reminds me of my own film, actually. Haven't I told you about our film yet? Well to cut a 3-year-long story short, we filmed Fellowship of the Ring with 7 actresses (one of which never appeared on screen, and one of which was me), a £10 budget on an island with no mountains, lakes, rivers or forests. And actually, all that considered, it's not half bad. One of the reasons for this is that our Frodo is great. No offence to everybody else, but she was great. Now the funny thing is, our movie Frodo and their movie Frodo have merged in my mind to the point that she actually looks a lot like Frodo, and whenever I think about scenes we haven't shot I occasionally imagine her instead. I'm positive they have exactly the same expressions. It's weird in the extreme.
I wonder which actor has “died” the most times? I wonder which has “killed” the most people. And I wonder how hard it is for the people watching…?
On a different note, I watched the Shootist, which is probably something to write home about but I can't think of any informed comments to make. Pretty witty script though, some very ironic lines. And they should have done more with the casino dandy. He was cool. AND there's a new Robert Redford film coming out. Yay! I hear you say. It's called An Unfinished Life, I think, and it stars him as a grandfather and...grandfather?! Ah yes, keep forgetting he's almost 70. Excuse me while I go away and cry.
*Me and Shakespeare go back a long time. It's a very unhappy story, and it involves me spending a lot of time sitting in toilets wishing I was somewhere other than five minutes from going on stage. That's where the title comes from. I gave up acting the first time I was in a Shakespeare, was coaxed back and a few years later, I try it again and what a surprise, I'm off the stage. Forever this time. Right now, though, we're going through a period of detente. You've got Tom Stoppard to thank for that. But don't worry, it won't last. We'llbe back to tearing scraps out of each other soon.
Greatest actors as voted by actors and vetted by me!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Last night I watched the rest of the Howevermany Greatest Actors of all time list, as voted for by actors. I didn’t really have an opinion…I don’t like acting – I can do it anywhere but the stage – and while I respect actors basically for their immense bravery, I don't want to be one. People who don't act can't judge. And indeed, as I have seen few De Niro/Brando/Hopkins/Pacino movies (although I can vouch for Johnny Depp as great!) I can't really comment. Except on that Restaurant scene - the extract from which sent me into hysterics. I'm still feeling a bit rosy...[back to AP's acting skills in a moment.]
But the thing I really took issue with was the link between two of the actors: “Christopher Walken has absolutely nothing to do with James Stewart, except from the fact they are both on this list.”
Says who?! Anyway, off I go on my self-appointed quest to discover another similarity when I found that…
...the narrator was right after all. They’re both male actors, they both have s and e in their names, they’re American and Jimmy lost a son in Vietnam and Chris played a son in Vietnam, but after those rather tenuous links any similarity ends. What a disappointment! Well, it's official - and remember - you heard it here first!
[back to AP's acting skills right now!] I told you I'd return!
Question number one: would you or would you not say that Michael was absolutely the lead character in the Godfather?
OK, question number two: would you or would you not say that the internet should have more pictures of a main character than, say, any other character?
No contest on the second one - I always go for minor characters and I can vouch for the fact that they're impossible to find. Except this time, this time when they seem to have forgotten who their antihero is. Typical...
Last film watched: Can't remember. It was a very long time ago. Several days at least!
Anyone who knows where to find good pictures of Michael should comment and make me feel important.
But the thing I really took issue with was the link between two of the actors: “Christopher Walken has absolutely nothing to do with James Stewart, except from the fact they are both on this list.”
Says who?! Anyway, off I go on my self-appointed quest to discover another similarity when I found that…
...the narrator was right after all. They’re both male actors, they both have s and e in their names, they’re American and Jimmy lost a son in Vietnam and Chris played a son in Vietnam, but after those rather tenuous links any similarity ends. What a disappointment! Well, it's official - and remember - you heard it here first!
[back to AP's acting skills right now!] I told you I'd return!
Question number one: would you or would you not say that Michael was absolutely the lead character in the Godfather?
OK, question number two: would you or would you not say that the internet should have more pictures of a main character than, say, any other character?
No contest on the second one - I always go for minor characters and I can vouch for the fact that they're impossible to find. Except this time, this time when they seem to have forgotten who their antihero is. Typical...
Last film watched: Can't remember. It was a very long time ago. Several days at least!
Anyone who knows where to find good pictures of Michael should comment and make me feel important.
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