Welcome to my movie blog, containing reviews and articles. I've been writing since 2004 - with a short break during 2009.

Don't panic...don't panic...OK, panic!!!!!!

I'm feeling lazy and bored and I can't be bothered to review Longest Day - an exellent film which remains entertaining despite it's rigid sticking to history - 4/5.

Last night I watched Oceans Eleven - a review is pending.

So to appease you -for surely you are distraught that I won't post a current review - I'll post an old one from my mental archive. And be warned, it's a nasty one....

Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

What was good:
OK, I think this had its heart in the right place. It used the theme music, it had two cameos from from original cast to spot (the original Arthur and Marvin), the final shot was spot on and the dedication was sweet. The screenplay is credited to Douglas Adams and [insert asassination target here], and you can really tell. So lets start off by saying – the bits written by Douglas Adams are great.
Most of the bits fans remember from the book are there (only, they replace “you may think it’s a long way down the road to the shops is a long way but that’s just peanuts to space” with “e.t.c.” And they cut another memorable Guide entry and leave it stranded in the credits…but apart from that…), although it’s always a bit jarring when you’re expecting something to happen and it doesn’t (in my case, Zaphod’s glasses). The new inventions for the film – the Point of View gun, John Malkovitch’s glasses – are all very cool, and mostly in keeping with the tone of the book.
There are no surprises in the casting – aside from asking Jim Carrey to be Zaphod and Simon Pegg to be Arthur, they really couldn’t have made it more obvious
(Stephen Fry as the Guide? Alan Rickman as Marvin? Total no-brainers really…)
They do try their best, but somehow it always seems to fall flat.

What was bad:
As I have already said, this film has it’s heart in the right place. However, it really does beg the question why? Lest we forget, this is the radio show which was turned into a book, which turned into a trilogy of four, which turned into a TV series. Do we really need another version?
The first three were basically the book verbatim. The first were great. Even the slightly cronky nature of the TV special effects was great. Why does this film decide to mess with the formula? Instead of leaving it as a film purely on the surface, they try to inject meaning and plot into a story which is essentially emotionless and random. Now, we have a “rescue Trillian” sequence, some chases, explosions et al. We also have scenes of a sentimental nature, which I object to far more. For example, putting the earth back together in such a slushy manner?
The thing is there are three ways to adapt a book. The first is to basically put the pages on screen, which I commend. The second is to take the world of the book as your ocean, and swim about in it where you will, which I also commend if done well. The third is to try both and do niether – get stuck somewhere in the middle, and end up ticking everyone off.
Slartibartfast was less dry, Ford less spaced out, Trillian less blonde, Zaphod more annoying and Arthur, well, less English. In fact, this is the entire problem with the film. Not wishing to offend anyone, but Hitchiker is a British product, with Monty Python style humour (they were Brits too…) about a British guy who spends the whole story trying to be nice to people and have a cup of tea. Handing it over to Hollywood was never going to work. It’s the same as if I wanted to make a film epitomising the Icelandic spirit.

Best Moment: For purists: The “yay it’s the music!!” moment as the title appears on screen. For idle viewers: the infinite improbability drive turning them all into knitted figures.

Was it good? Tried to be a space romp and a comedy; failed at both. Somehow they managed to quash the humour even in the Adams lines…
Did I like it? Not really…pointless waste of time.

Recommended for: actually, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone at all. Except perhaps the director’s mum and dad.
Don’t watch if you: were a fan of either the radio series, the TV series or the books; have anything better to do with your time – watching paint dry, for instance.

Last film seen: Ocean's Eleven...duh

Update! If you disliked this film as much as me, check out for some good fun mockery.


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